The First Few Days of Mediation – Divorce Done Differently

Key Takeaways:

• Lenore Myers explains that the first 30 days after a divorce decision often begin with panic, and the goal is to move from that panic toward a workable plan. Whether a couple plans to use separate lawyers or hopes for an amicable resolution, the first step is a consultation with an attorney, and with a mediator if an amicable path is possible.
• Lenore Myers recommends gathering basic financial information early: at least three years of tax returns, monthly bills, 401(k) and IRA statements, a mortgage statement, a Zillow estimate of the home’s value, and a Kelley Blue Book valuation of any vehicles. Attorneys and mediators will ask about the marital estate, assets and debts, income, and children’s ages, schools, and special needs.
• Lenore Myers advises that the first 30 days are for gathering information and having discussions, whether with an attorney, a mediator, or a marriage counselor, not for making hard and fast decisions.

Video Title: The First Few Days of Mediation – Dear Attorney Lenore

Video topic/focus: This video features Attorney Lenore Myers explaining what someone can do during the first 30 days of a divorce, from scheduling consultations with an attorney and mediator to gathering the financial documents and information needed to move toward a workable plan.

Video Description:

Have you ever had tons of practical questions (for yourself or someone you love) about the complex landscape of divorce, but thought they were too simple to ask?

Have you ever wanted to sit down and talk to a divorce professional who could break down the law in its simplest terms and make it clear, so that you could decide what’s best for you and your family?

Listen in as Attorney Lenore reads real questions from couples on the topic of mediation vs litigation. Learn for yourself as she answers questions with compassion (unlike many attorneys), competence, and skill.

You may email your divorce questions as “Dear Attorney Lenore”, and we will address them in an upcoming LIVE show (divorcedonedifferentlypa@gmail.com).

Heartwarming Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Super friendly – Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Video thumbnail

Transcript:

0:10
[Lenore] During the first 30 days after a couple either hears their spouse say that they want a divorce or

0:18
[Lenore] the two of them together make the decision that they want to divorce. I mean, it really starts…

0:27
[Lenore] with panic and then it’s the question of moving towards a workable plan.

0:33
[Lenore] I think that if the couple is going to go to separate lawyers or they think that’s their only option,

0:42
[Lenore] I think the first thing to do is have a consultation with an attorney

0:48
[Lenore] and if it’s possible for them to have some kind of amicable resolution to their divorce, they should also have a consultation with a mediator.

1:02
[Lenore] And…

1:04
[Lenore] the questions the attorney’s going to ask them or the mediator will ask them.

1:10
[Lenore] Questions about their marital estate, what their assets and debts are, and they also will probably ask

1:18
[Lenore] what their initial intentions are with regard to those assets and debts.

1:23
[Lenore] And they’ll also ask them questions if there’s children involved about what…

1:30
[Lenore] they’re thinking about with the children, what the ages are of the children, what the school is, whether or not their children have special needs.

1:40
[Lenore] They’re also going to be asking questions about income.

1:44
[Lenore] So, the things that you should have in line when you are considering a divorce is, you should, first gather together some of your financial documents.

1:56
[Lenore] Gather together at least 3 years of your tax returns. Gather together what your bills are. Gather together…

2:05
[Lenore] your assets like your 401K statements or your IRA statements, your mortgage statement.

2:12
[Lenore] At least maybe do a Zillow search on your home, just to kind of get an idea of what it might be worth, if you have a home.

2:22
[Lenore] You would do a Kelly Blue Book valuation of any of your motor vehicles.

2:28
[Lenore] And then talk to your attorney or talk to the mediator and kind of get an idea of

2:35
[Lenore] what you’re thinking about how to separate those assets or what kind of parenting plan might work best for your children.

2:44
[Lenore] And then with the attorney, ask the attorney to give you some ideas about what the court might do.

2:51
[Lenore] How does the court look at these situations based on what you want to do?

2:56
[Lenore] The other thing too is, as a couple if you’re in marriage counseling, you can also

3:04
[Lenore] talk together with your therapist about some sticking points that you’re having with what to do with

3:11
[Lenore] the bigger assets or smaller assets or what your plans or desires are.

3:16
[Lenore] So, a lot of discussion should take place in addition to gathering some basic information

3:23
[Lenore] is what you should do within the next 30 days, but you should not make any hard and fast decisions in the first 30 days.

3:33
[Lenore] You just should gather information in the first 30 days.