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Author: Divorce Done Differently in PA

Divorce Without Destruction and Drama

The stress of ending a marriage can take its toll on your emotional and financial well-being. If not navigated properly, decisions about custody, support, and who is responsible for what you owe and what you own can impact your future in a devastating and lasting way. But you can decide on divorce without destruction and drama.

Sign Up For My Divorce Mediation Coaching Program Today

My program can empower those facing divorce who fear ending up with a hole in their heart and their pockets by helping them have their divorce done differently, where everyone wins. You will receive the tools to stay in control of creating your own divorce financial and custody agreements in an economically informed, amicable way without court involvement. Not the lawyers. Not the judge. My program will give you the tools to help you succeed in the following:

  1. Finding a peaceful way to resolve conflict
  2. Planning a fair financial future
  3. Shortening the divorce process
  4. Avoiding painful court battles
  5. Saving you $1000s in legal fees.

Through my program, I can help you plan a divorce strategy for a brighter future with minimal conflict and maximum peace of mind. The coaching program begins late 2023.

Get on the waiting list now by emailing Attorney-Mediator Lenore Myers at and let her know you want to be in her coaching program. Don’t delay. Do it today.

Want to Know More?

If you are interested in a consultation to discuss the options available to resolve your divorce, custody issues, support, or equitable distribution issues, please contact me and I can help you investigate your options. Call me, Lenore M.J. Myers, at 215-470-3121 or email me at

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What Are The Prenuptial Agreement Advantages and Disadvantages?

When it comes to divorce, whether it be settled via a peaceful agreement through a mediator or a hostile fight in court, a couple’s biggest hurdles are who gets what and how it gets decided. This is where prenuptial agreement advantages and disadvantages come into play.

Having an idea ahead of a divorce of what property goes to each partner during the divorce will help make the divorce process move at a much smoother pace. By drafting an agreement before marriage, a couple can bring much-needed clarity to a potentially messy divorce by outlining how certain property is divided in the event of a divorce. This is the basic concept of a prenuptial agreement.

People interested in creating a prenuptial agreement may need guidance on where to start.

Basics of a Prenuptial Agreement

In summary, a prenuptial agreement is an agreement made between parties about to be married, determining which party gets what property in the event the marriage ends in divorce. This property can range from the property a person possessed before the marriage to any property acquired during the marriage. The main purpose of a prenuptial agreement is to outline how property owned prior to and acquired after the marriage is to be divided in the event of a divorce to avoid ugly court battles and plan for the future with or without their soon-to-be spouse.

For some, a prenuptial agreement can also build trust between both parties, who may still feel vulnerable concerning their assets when considering the prospect of marriage. Having the agreement created before marriage makes deciding who gets what during a divorce much faster than making those decisions after the break up of the marriage, whether it be done peacefully or otherwise.

In terms of cost, a prenuptial agreement can cost around $1500 on average. Depending on a person’s state, the cost may go as high as $6,000. It is best advised that those outside the state of Pennsylvania research the cost of a prenuptial agreement to prepare ahead of time.

Some people considering a prenuptial agreement may wonder about the benefits of a prenuptial agreement in marriage and divorce. Like with any legally binding agreement, there are advantages and disadvantages, depending on the terms and conditions of the agreement.

Advantages of a Prenuptial Agreement

As mentioned earlier, one of the major advantages of having a prenuptial agreement is that in the event of a future divorce, it can make the process move at a much faster and smoother pace since both parties are deciding in advance what property will be handed over to them if the marriage ends. Thus by creating a prenuptial agreement in advance, couples can avoid a possible contentious divorce in the future.

Alimony payments are also an issue that can be addressed in a prenuptial agreement. The terms and conditions of a prenuptial agreement can outline if a spouse will receive alimony and, if so, how much and for how long.

So should a potential divorce come about to dissolve the marriage, having a prenuptial agreement may help give a clearer understanding of the economics of dividing the property the couples possess.

Disadvantages of a Prenuptial Agreement

While it may seem like a good idea for a couple to get a prenuptial agreement, only some couples may be interested in creating one. One of the downsides of a prenuptial agreement is that it needs to be done before marriage which can put a damper on the romantic notion of “til death do us part.” In an article by NOLO, a prenuptial agreement not only could be a potential romance killer if not properly handled, but it may also be unnecessary in some cases.

In addition, preparing a prenuptial agreement can add to all the other stressors that come with planning a wedding.

Further, issues such as child custody or child support may come with a divorce that cannot be settled with a prenuptial agreement.

How a Divorce Mediator & Attorney Can Help with Prenuptial Agreements

While the process of a prenuptial agreement may not be for everyone, knowing the option exists could benefit the couple if they deem it necessary. Especially in the world of mediation and divorce, knowing who would get particular assets ahead of time could greatly reduce unnecessary headaches and wasted money for the couple in the event of a divorce.

Having a basic knowledge of the concept, knowing the prenuptial agreement advantages and disadvantages, and consulting with a family law attorney can help a couple decide if creating a prenuptial agreement prior to their marriage is a worthwhile investment.

Want to Know More?

If you are interested in a consultation to discuss the options available to resolve your divorce, custody issues, support, or equitable distribution issues, please contact me and I can help you investigate your options. Call me, Lenore M.J. Myers, at 215-470-3121 or email me at

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Alimony In Pennsylvania: What Are The Specifics?

Alimony is a familiar word to anyone going through a divorce or familiar with the divorce process. And issues related to alimony in Pennsylvania are no different.

Depending on your state, the rules of alimony have varied from state to state in terms of how the wealth is distributed and what legal requirements and laws are used to determine the exact amount.

While this may seem confusing when talking about alimony in general, knowing the way alimony is handled in one’s state will help ensure clarity. It will help in understanding what alimony is precisely.

For this article, the concept of alimony will be based on how it is described in Pennsylvania law and what it means for those living there. This article will focus on the specific laws and definitions stated in Pennsylvania law. While there may be some similarities with other states, it is best to remember that what is mentioned in this article may not be the same in other states.

Differences Between Spousal Support and Alimony in Pennsylvania.

When people are initially preparing for a divorce, the spouse may have also heard of the term spousal support and may wonder how it compares to alimony.

While both processes involve payments between the now separated spouses, the differences come in how the amount of the payments is determined and when the payments are made. Spousal support is paid before the spouses are divorced and determined by a calculation made under the Pennsylvania Support Guidelines. In contrast, alimony is paid after the spouses are divorced and determined at the court’s discretion based on 17 different factors outlined in the law.

What Is Alimony In Pennsylvania?

In short, alimony is financial support paid by the spouse with a higher income to the spouse with a lower income after the parties are divorced. This amount and length of the payment can be determined by the parties’ agreement or the court’s order.

In Pennsylvania, when the court decides the amount of alimony to be paid is calculated by weighing 17 different factors to determine the amount and duration for the terms of alimony to be paid. One of the factors to be considered would be the financial assets each party will receive in the division of the marital assets.

What Factors Make Up Alimony in Pennsylvania?

A number of the other factors that can be considered in determining the amount and term of alimony to be paid include the income of both parties, how long the marriage lasted, and if the couple has had a child together, which requires one spouse to be the stay at home parent. The court considers these 17 factors to determine if the spouse with the larger income should help support their former partner by paying them alimony until that person can support themselves.

Alimony may also be modifiable after the divorce. If alimony is ruled modifiable, then if any changes occur in income, the former couple may need to visit the court to request a change. The court will determine if a change in the amount of alimony being paid needs to occur.

Usually, alimony is paid for only a set period. However, there are some instances where alimony is deemed permanent if the former partner cannot financially recover. In this instance, alimony would be paid until the former dependent spouse is either dead or remarries another person.

Understanding the determination of the payment of alimony in Pennsylvania is a highly complex process. Anyone going through a divorce in Pennsylvania should consult an experienced family law attorney to determine their rights to alimony under the law.

Want to Know More?

If you are interested in a consultation to discuss the options available to resolve your divorce, custody issues, support, or equitable distribution issues, please contact me and I can help you investigate your options. Call me, Lenore M.J. Myers, at 215-470-3121 or email me at

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Orientation Day

Orientation Day

Today was an “orientation” day for my son’s transition to a four-year university. Basically, it was a very general “Welcome!” and “Hello!” to new students and those transferring (like my son) to the school. I don’t remember what it was specifically called, but “orientation day” is the best phrase. My partner and I could tell that our son initially seemed very overwhelmed by it. For the first part of the day, he got very quiet, and I could tell he was questioning himself and all the amazing things he’s accomplished in his life to this point. He’s had a bit of a journey in his life, and I was so proud to be a part of his day today.

As we wound our way through line after line (to get into another line), the look on his face said it all. This is unlike anything he’s ever experienced before. Yes, we’ve driven through the campus numerous times, and he’s gotten the basic lay of the land. But today, it was real for him: this is no longer a distant thought about eventually transferring. He was committed, knew he was accepted as a student, and knew he was going there. He’s scheduled his classes, and we’ve put down a deposit. Today was a very intense day for him.

While waiting for our coffee and doughnuts, I heard him say something almost offhandedly. He sounded a bit distant and dreamy and a bit dejected. Looking around at all the other families, he mumbled to himself, “I think I should have done this four years ago.” Then, without skipping a beat, my husband casually ruminated out loud, “Well, I don’t know. What do you think, Mama?” As he said this, he flashed a quick glance at me. It was one of those slight, swift glances the two of us share when we “talk” to each other without actually saying a word. I knew that was my cue. I’ve written before that my partner and I split the lead on certain things. This is one of my many areas of expertise.

I told him something like I’m going to tell you now.

You are in a strange new place. Life is going on around you, and sometimes there’s a never-ending line of people and meetings and strange new experiences you’ve never encountered before. It’s intimidating. It’s terrifying. It’s extremely disorienting and overwhelming in a way that may never have seemed possible. But you know what? You are exactly where you need to be, and despite how you may feel, this is not necessarily a bad thing.

I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve caught myself thinking, “I could have done this” or “I should have done that.” Why? You’ve done the best you could with what you knew at the time. That’s a good thing. There’s no shame in that. You know what you know now, and that’s what counts. What matters is what you do with what you know today.

In comparison with others, my son has always started out “behind” or labeled as “failed.” But my husband and I have always asked each other: “Behind who?”, “Failed what?” He’s always been right where he needs to be – for himself – to achieve what is best for him at any given moment. In the end, it’s always worked out. With time and (healthy) support, his engines have always revved up when he’s ready. He’s “engaged warp speed” (as my Trekkie spouse says) to bridge chasms, surging through any darkness or doubt: all when the time and place were right for him. This is not pollyannish by any means. I’m not saying there haven’t been many “dark nights of the soul” for us. There certainly have been times – days, months, even years – when we’ve had profound, doubtful misgivings about the outcomes (but that is where faith and hope come into play). But yes, I have to assert that, in the end, things have always worked out for the best for him as long as he made an effort.

Yet remember what I just said: “time and healthy support.” You and your ex deserve to be heard. You both deserve to be supported. You both deserve that moment when “warp speed” is suddenly and unexpectedly engaged by some seemingly unknown reason, force, or power.

I am a part of that process for you both.

My Role as A Mediator

I don’t “fix” things or people. I’m a part of a larger manifestation in your life that helps you both to achieve what is best for both of you should you so choose. Even though a relationship may be over, you and your ex were brought together to provide the opportunity to heal each other: That’s why you were attracted to each other in the first place. I know this sounds odd, but it’s true. As a mediator, I am a catalyst to assist you in making sense of your current situation and how you can move forward towards all, which can be the best of what might be. The point is to do this in a non-confrontational and alleviating, mitigating way. This is my expertise.

I’m not a therapist. It’s not my job or purpose to perform such a role. However, I can be an integral part of your larger, healthy support system. I’ve spent my entire 36-plus-year career learning and developing the methodologies and processes of mediating divorce for both for the benefit of all. I’ve seen things that work and many things which don’t. I would challenge you to engage me to assist you with all the techniques I’ve learned over the course of decades for the benefit of you, your children, and even your ex.

Want to Know More?

If you are interested in a consultation to discuss the options available to resolve your divorce, custody issues, support, or equitable distribution issues, please contact me and I can help you investigate your options. Call me, Lenore M.J. Myers, at 215-470-3121 or email me at

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Solomon’s Child: Why I Became a Custody Conciliator

Solomon’s Child: Why I Became a Custody Conciliator

In my courtroom, as a custody conciliator, I have a picture of the story of Solomon. In this story (1 Kings Chapter 3), there were two mothers, each claiming to be the child’s birth mother. King Solomon, who was renowned for his wisdom, commanded:

Solomon’s Child

“Both of you say this live baby is yours. Someone bring me a sword.” A sword was brought, and Solomon ordered, “Cut the baby in half! That way, each of you can have part of him.”

As the story goes, the true parent gave up her claim to the child so the child would live, while the other parent seemed fine with the child being split in two. Thus, the true mother was found.

There is a reason why this story resonates so powerfully with me and why it’s so imperative to the work I do. Believe it or not, there are some ex-partners who would be perfectly fine with Solomon’s decision – even literally. It would surprise you how many parents are perfectly willing (even eager) to split their children, in an emotional and physical sense, in two for any number of reasons.

Why I Became a Custody Conciliator

I know that the current system was created with the best of intentions. But after decades of practicing in this field and viewing the ramifications of the results that come from the practice in this area of law, I had to find a different path that follows the spirit of what was intended rather than the proscribed letter of the law. Note that I have the greatest respect for the law and what it strives to accomplish. But I have very serious disagreements with the real world, real life, consequences it can entail (unintentional though it might be).

This is why I stopped handling custody litigation years ago and became a custody conciliator and now a mediator. I chose to be part of the solution rather than part of the problem in a system that is more equipped to divide property than to heal a dysfunctional family.

I’ve viewed, studied, and practiced family law during the transition from the time of the 1979 movie “Kramer vs. Kramer” to today. At the time, this movie was an explosive expose of divorce and the real-life intricacies of what that entailed. In Pennsylvania, family law is foundationally based on the concept of the no-fault division of property. At the time it was implemented, this seemed like a rational and good idea, fine in theory. As a result, today, divorce is not (forgive me for saying) so dramatic as it was in the 1970s. “No Fault” divorce (since the 1980s) is much more common. Things happen. Separation and divorce don’t have to be anybody’s “fault.”

Yet the fact remains that your children are not “property” to be cleaved in half like your home, your income, or your retirement. And while the court’s standard for determining custody schedules is what is in the “best interest of the child,” this can be rather subjective criteria.

You know your children best. Who they are and what they need cannot be easily communicated to a stranger in a black robe in a few hours in court. That is why it’s so vital to refrain from the urge to “split the child.”

As Henry David Thoreau said, “It is always darkest before the dawn.” I find it is most helpful to see forward as to what the new horizon brings rather than constantly look backward and eternally fight to “right” any and all past “wrongs.”

Your children are the legacy and reality of what you are offering to the world. They are the inheritance you give to humanity: a reflection of where you came from, who you are and what you strive to be. It’s not about anything that you might leave them in your will. Your children are a reflection of how you lived your own life and how good you’ve been to yourself. Your children are the mirror you look into when all is said and done. It’s truly difficult when another person is involved, but, after all, children are a reflection of your ex as much as they are of yourself.

So going forward, in a sense, it’s not just about your children, but your legacy. I understand that these things are very personal, very difficult, and, yes, intensely painful. But in light of this, I would assert that your life (and that of your children) is vastly more valuable than any win you are in court to achieve.

This is why I do what I do in the field I’ve chosen to pursue. I would even say that it’s my passion.

My goal, as a mediator and custody conciliator, is to help you find the best path for you and your family to move forward into the next chapter of your lives. I command no emotional sword to be brought to me. I desire no authority to emotionally cleave or divide children between parents. My goals and desires are to help parents find the best, most healing way for ex-partners to find fulfillment in their own lives by resolving conflicts with their ex-partners to achieve your own peace of mind and peace for your children.

Want to Know More?

If you are interested in a consultation to discuss the options available to resolve your divorce, custody issues, support, or equitable distribution issues, please contact me and I can help you investigate your options. Call me, Lenore M.J. Myers, at 215-470-3121 or email me at

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Not “if,” But “How” Couples Argue Matters

Not “if,” But “How” Couples Argue Matters

My husband and I got into a fight yesterday. No physicality, but let’s just say we exchanged various words and phrases in a rather assertive manner. Believe it or not, this is not necessarily a bad thing. Couples argue. People disagree. Arguments can ensue, and certain situations can arise where separation or divorce can ensue. The thing is, it doesn’t necessarily have to mean that it’s anyone’s fault. If you have gotten to the point where a relationship is ending, it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s your partner’s fault. That said, it doesn’t have to mean it’s your fault. Sometimes the dissolution of a relationship simply means you weren’t a good fit for each other. Sometimes stuff just happens.

The Challenges of Relationships & Arguments

I find that the challenge of relationships is about growth and learning how to relate to others amid difficulties. To end a marriage or relationship only to pick another partner who only knows “the same dance” (as I often say) doesn’t help you in the long run. Yes, things happen, but I suggest learning from the dissolution of a relationship rather than dancing the same dance to the same tune.

My partner and I don’t often argue (or fight like we did yesterday). But on the few occasions we do, we’ve never tried to hide it from our child. Of greater importance, we’ve never put our child in the middle of our disagreements. You see, it’s not a matter of if you and any partner you have will fight or argue, but how couples argue or fight.

I think we would all agree that physical violence is never a good idea and is never acceptable. Yet I would also assert that a sort of “passive-aggressive” form of conflict, or a manipulative one, is not very helpful (especially when children are involved). My partner grew up in a very violent home. But it was also a home filled with manipulation and emotional abuse (for all involved). I’ve spent 40 years in the field of family law, and, sadly, I must admit, I’ve seen many dysfunctional harmful relationships play out to the detriment of the whole family. Sadly, I have to say that I’ve been in practice long enough that I’ve seen 2 to even 3 generations of families ripped apart by the same patterns of maladaptive relationships.

My partner has done a tremendous amount of personal work and therapy over the course of decades. My partner has given me insight into his struggles, and I know that I have provided him with perspectives he had never considered before. The point is that we’ve grown together. We’ve come to see our relationship with each other as paramount: it doesn’t matter who was “wrong” or “right.” More importantly, we view our child’s growth, development, and happiness as more imperative than what either of us wants or desires.

Resolving Arguments

Somehow we’ve learned over the years that at a certain point, it’s better for both of us to disengage, spend some time on opposite sides of the house and cool down and reflect on what is actually happening at the moment. Now, bear with me. This will sound odd, but it works for us. Many times what will end up happening is my husband will come back into the room I’m in and say something to the effect of: “I’ve thought it all over and have decided to forgive you.” I never fail to erupt with laughter – and then all the tension is gone. The reason is that I know what he’s actually saying is, “I love you so much, and I would really appreciate it if you would forgive me.” He doesn’t want to admit that he’s wrong (and he can be), but he’s found that approaching the situation this way allows him to apologize (at least initially) without actually saying it. The key here is that neither of us is “keeping score.” We live our lives in a way where no one “wins” unless we all “win.”

In our relationship, there is a give and take. There are certain things my spouse does that drive me nuts. At the same time, I know there are certain things I do that drive him nuts. And ultimately, we find that our relationship and (especially) the value we both place on our child’s well-being and happiness is more important than any disagreements we may have on any other matter.

All couples argue. Yes, at times, my partner and I argue and fight. But it’s not “if” we’re going to argue or fight. It’s always about “how” we go about it that makes all the difference in the world.

Want to Know More?

If you are interested in a consultation to discuss the options available to resolve your divorce, custody issues, support, or equitable distribution issues, please contact me and I can help you investigate your options. Call me, Lenore M.J. Myers, at 215-470-3121 or email me at

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Is Collaborative Divorce a Good Idea?

When one thinks of a divorce, they usually think of only one party winning and both parties barely able to cooperate. However, that is not often the case in some situations. Some instead would prefer the process of a collaborative divorce, in which all members involved would walk away satisfied with the agreed results. If you are wondering, “is collaborative divorce a good idea?”, keep reading to see if this option is best for your situation.

What is a Collaborative Divorce?

The process usually involves both parties working together with their respective lawyers and the mediator involved with the case to reach a solution that benefits all. By doing this, all the parties involved will understand the requests with a clear understanding of why this was suggested. Outside of the broad strokes, other factors will vary depending on the judicial district and the attorneys hired for the process.

Who Would Want to Have a Collaborative Divorce?

Those willing to have a collaborative divorce would most likely want a peaceful resolution to the process. Say, for example, a spouse wants to have a divorce but is not willing to go through the tiring process of a traditional divorce. This could be for several reasons, such as if they had a child together or if they want to still have a connection with a former spouse or anyone else connected to them in some way. Through this process, all parties can benefit from this situation without straining the relationship further than it already has.

What Are Some of the Benefits of a Collaborative Divorce?

When it comes to some of the benefits, it can often focus on the idea of better communication for both parties. With the option of both sides working together, the amount of miscommunication between both parties is reduced. (The idea of both sides benefiting from the process as well as another strong point of this practice- delete) .Also, most former couples do not want to see former spouses left out high and dry for a variety of reasons. Collaborative divorce helps parties work together to create a financial settlement that works best for both of them ( add) In this way ( add) , all parties involved will walk away with ( some sort of benefit – delete ) a resolution that(add) will make each feel satisfied with the outcome.

Why is a Collaborative Divorce Important?

In an age where it seems like everything around us feels like a nightmare, the way both parties ( communicate in a divorce is very important. Clear communication between both parties limits the amount of misunderstanding that often happens in a traditional court environment. In a collaborative divorce, both parties will feel like there is no hidden agenda to ruin them. This aspect of collaborative divorce is especially important if the couple has any children who are often unintentionally caught in the crossfire of a traditional divorce, adding to the trauma they already are experiencing with the dissolution of the family

How Does Collaborative Divorce Benefit Me?

The collaborative divorce process helps make the communication between both parties clearer and calm and avoids unintentional misunderstandings than if they were going through a typical court case. This way of communication makes the process much smoother and quicker than in a traditional court environment. Collaborative divorce is a good idea because having a smoother, quicker process reduces the amount of time and money wasted over non-productive arguments that don’t need to happen in the first place. When both parties can see things from each other’s perspectives and work to reach the best overall settlement for everyone through the collaborative divorce process, each party wins in the end.

Want to Know More?

If you are interested in a consultation to discuss the options available to resolve your divorce, custody issues, support, or equitable distribution issues, please contact me and I can help you investigate your options. Call me, Lenore M.J. Myers, at 215-470-3121 or email me at

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The Difference Between a Divorce Mediator vs. Attorney

As one begins to prepare for a divorce, one may look into the various options that are available to them. A person may be confused about some aspects of divorce proceedings when they are trying to gather information about the process, such as the differences between a mediator and an attorney. While most people assume that hiring an attorney is the only route for a divorce, this is not necessarily true. If someone is seeking to make the transition of divorce go as smoothly as possible, mediators can play a vital role in ensuring a divorce goes this way. If you are going through or considering divorce or know someone who is, you may have some questions about the benefits and differences between a divorce mediator vs. attorney.

What Does an Attorney Do in a Divorce?

While an attorney may be the first thing that comes to mind when one files for a divorce, they may not be the best option for you in the long run. The attorney’s goal is to represent their client to ensure their client ultimately comes out on top at the end of the divorce process, regardless of how it affects their spouse.

How Much Does An Attorney Cost?

You will have to pay an attorney a large retainer of thousands of dollars to cover the cost of your representation. Divorce attorneys are usually paid an hourly rate. They and their staff charge for every phone, call, email, letter, copy, or anything they do concerning your case well before you even get into court. Then once you get to court, you often spend hours waiting with the attorney to hear your case, and you get charged for that, and the time it takes your attorney to argue your case before the court.

What Does a Mediator Do in a Divorce?

Mediators work with people to help them reach a settlement that is a compromise to serve the overall best interest of everyone involved. Communication with each party is key if you want your divorce process to be a smooth transition. A mediator is essential in facilitating communication between spouses by helping the parties to listen to each other express their needs and wants and helping them navigate different options to help the couple get an idea of where they need or want to go. In doing so, the mediator helps the parties from a neutral perspective reach a compromise and settlement with which both can be content. Mediators can also come from various backgrounds, including therapists, though a law degree is required in some states for them to operate.

How Much Does a Mediator Cost?

In general, another difference between a divorce mediator vs. attorney is that mediation is generally less expensive than most lawyers or litigation. Most mediators charge a flat fee that usually covers several mediation sessions to discuss various issues, such as how to distribute the couple’s property or custody arrangements. For their flat fee, the mediator also generally reduces the couple’s agreement to writing to help them finalize their divorce. If a mediator is not a lawyer, you may have to take your written agreement to always afterward to help you finalize your divorce.

What is the Benefit of Having a Mediator Who Is Also An Attorney?

The mediator’s job is to hear the desires of both sides and help both parties compromise to reach an agreement. An attorney/mediator can help the parties create a legally binding written contract encompassing their entire agreement to become part of their divorce decree. The attorney/mediator can then help the parties navigate the finalization of their divorce through the courts once the written agreement is signed. In this way, an attorney/mediator can make a divorce proceeding that could end up being a smooth transition upon which all parties can agree.

Want to Know More?

If you are interested in a consultation to discuss the options available to resolve your divorce, custody issues, support, or equitable distribution issues, please contact me and I can help you investigate your options. Call me, Lenore M.J. Myers, at 215-470-3121 or email me at

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Questions To Ask Your Divorce Attorney about Custody

As the process of a divorce starts, many people may have questions about custody. Some may have questions about logistics involving custody schedules, while others may have questions about some of the emotional aspects of the process. Here are questions to ask a divorce attorney about custody to help you through the process.

How Do I Tell My Child/Children About The Divorce?

Depending on the state of the parent’s relationship, they may tell the child together or separately that they have decided to divorce. It is best for the parents to coordinate giving this information about the divorce to their child. A significant event like divorce has the potential of shattering the child’s world, whether they are toddlers or teens. The situation may be confusing for the child, so it is very important, to be honest with the child. Parents should explain to the child that they are separating households in clear, precise words that the child can understand based on age. The parents must let the child know that even though they won’t be living in the same house together all the time, both parents love the child and that all the child’s needs will always be met.

What Is the Best Custody Schedule for My Child?

Parents should consider the mindset of the child and the difficulties the child may have in adjusting and transitioning between two houses. For example, some children may do better living primarily with one parent, while others will want to spend equal time with both parents. A custody schedule that both parents agree upon and create with their child’s needs and best interest in mind is what is best for the child’s emotional and mental wellbeing.

What Are Aspects to Consider in Custody?

Some questions to ask a divorce attorney about custody involve different aspects. There are two sides to child custody. The first side is legal custody. Legal custody is focused on religious, medical, and educational decisions concerning children. Parents may share legal custody, where both parents must consult with one another about major religious, medical, and educational decisions concerning children. Or one parent may have sole legal custody with the right to make major decisions concerning religions, medical or educational issues without consulting with the other parent.

The other side of custody is physical custody. Physical custody is a schedule that determines when the child spends time with each parent.

A parent could have sole, primary, or partial/shared physical custody. In this case, one parent has the child most of the time, and the other parent has the child for lesser periods, such as alternate weekends or one night a week for dinner or overnight.

A parent’s time with the child may also be required to occur in the presence of a third party or supervised custody. In this scenario, one parent has the child most of the time, and the other parent may only see the child for short periods of time in the presence of a paid supervisor such as a social worker or a trusted family member.

Finally, both parents can have joint physical custody of the child where the child spends equal time with both parents. In this situation, parents may alternate time with the child on an alternating week-to-week schedule or a split-week schedule. For example, this schedule may have parents alternating weekends for 1 to 3 days at a time and sharing the week, whereby each parent may have the child alternating 2 to 3 or 4 to 5 days at a time.

Which schedule works best for the children can be decided by the parents or by the courts. Hopefully, since you and your co-parent know your child better than any judge will, you will work together to create the best possible schedule for your child. Suppose you don’t think that the two of you can reach that decision together on your own. In that case, a mediator can help facilitate conversations to help the two of you reach a mutually agreed-upon schedule that works best for your children.

Want to Know More?

If you are interested in a consultation to discuss the options available to resolve your divorce, custody issues, support, or equitable distribution issues, please contact me and I can help you investigate your options. Call me, Lenore M.J. Myers, at 215-470-3121 or email me at

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